10 Qualities Saved Sisters Seek in a Man
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Although “types” vary from person to person, there are certain characteristics that saved sisters typically find highly attractive in a man. Everyone has particular things they look for and desire in a mate; we desire the following qualities as we also strive to possess them ourselves. Aside from anything physical and material, these ten qualities are ideal things we look for in a man, as Christian women. (Please note this list is by no means exhaustive.)
1) Madly in love with Jesus
When a man has a personal relationship with Jesus–not just an acquaintance– he prioritizes his relationship with Him above everything and everyone else. This lays the foundation for a well-ordered life. Once a man is really in love with Jesus, he will seek to please Him in every way–including his romantic life. This means we can be confident that he will love his woman the way Christ commands him to love her.
2) Confident and willing to pursue a woman
While there are many women who are willing to pursue a man and initiate dates, there are still a few of us who value a man who is bold enough to approach and pursue us. Your pursuit reveals your level of interest, so if you take a half-step approach, that leaves room for the assumption that you just might not be that into us. We don’t want grey area, so be bold. Be consistent. Your pursuit of us will indicate how valuable we are to you, so show us by taking the reigns. Taking the initiative to come up with well-planned outings means more than you probably think. If you need a little help, ask about our interests. Just don’t be passive– pursue!
3) A leader
We saved sisters like a man who is not only willing, but capable of leading. If we’re going to allow a man to lead us, we need to trust that he is capable of leading us further into God’s will, not out of it. We will not follow you into folly or sin, so your leadership should be guided by godly wisdom–not pride, aggressiveness, or chauvinism. We would be comforted in knowing that he has mentors or colleagues from whom he can get good counsel. True leaders are humble and ever-learning!
4) Strong work ethic
A man absolutely has to have ambition, and has to be willing to put in the necessary work to fulfill his God-given purpose. We want a man who has dreams, goals, and plans, and is cognizant of how distinct those three things are. Everyone should have dreams that help them formulate their goals in life, and everyone needs plans that will help them accomplish those goals. We want a man who is willing to work hard, and work smart. A man with vision is irresistible!
5) Shares the same personal commitment to honor God with our bodies
We live in a time when views on pre-marital sex seem to vary far and wide among brothers and sisters of the Christian faith. But for those of us women who trust the Bible as absolute truth on the topic of sex before marriage, we want our men to not only be supportive of us, but to share in the commitment to purity. We want men who are just as committed to sexual purity and who will present us holy and without blemish in courtship and in marriage. It’s already a struggle, and we don’t want the person we’re supposed to be building with to be a stumbling block. It’s counterproductive, so if we feel you’re going to be a liability for our soul, you probably won’t be around for too long.
6) Socially conscious
We don’t want a man who is so far removed from the world that he is of no use to it. By that we mean, we want a man who understands that he has a responsibility to be aware of what is going on in the world around him, and is also willing to respond to the needs of his community and those God has called him to serve. We love to witness a man being the hands and feet of Christ, meeting the needs of those around him and responding to the Great Commission.
7) Health and wellness are part of his lifestyle
He realizes his body is a temple and treats it accordingly. He doesn’t have to have the perfect physique–although we’re not opposed to that at all. He should eat well, be active , and really understand that prevention is better than cure. Basically, we want you to live long!
8) Has a strong sense of integrity
We want a man we can trust, and the surest way to have trust in a man is to know he has integrity. When we are confident about his character, we can support him and lift him up anywhere we are and to anyone we’re speaking to. No woman wants a man she has doubts about. We want to be able to always have his back in every situation–we can only do that if we are 100% confident in his integrity.
9) Isn’t judgmental but will hold us accountable
We saved sisters are human, we’re not perfect. Grace is what saved us and grace is what sustains us. We want a man whom we can confide our faults and past mistakes to without judgment. This does not mean that we want him to assuage our guilt when we are clearly compromising. We want someone we can be vulnerable with about our struggles, but we also want our man to serve as an accountability partner, and not an enabler of compromise.
10) Bears fruit of the Spirit
“… But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control…” A man who is fully committed to Christ, and in tune with the Holy Spirit at work in his life is very attractive to the woman who is “sold-out” to Christ. When she sees you display the fruit of the Spirit, she can be confident not only in your leadership, but the fact that your leadership is rooted in Christ. If a man tells us he’s a Christian, we will be elated! However, we will be assessing his life for the fruit a man of God should be bearing. We will trust, but we will also verify. A fruit bearing man is hard to resist, brothers! Trust!
“… here’s what it means to fall in love. It is to look at another person and get a glimpse of what God is creating, and to say, “I see who God is making you, and it excites me! I want to be part of that. I want to partner with you and God in the journey you are taking to his throne. And when we get there, I will look at your magnificence and say, ‘I always knew you could be like this. I got glimpses of it on earth, but now look at you!” – Timothy Kellar
What are some of the qualities you look for in a mate? Share some of the things on your “list” below.